Intentional Acts of Kindness in Marriage

We have all heard of “Random acts of kindness” — the idea that, if we are randomly kind to other people, kindness will spread and the world will be a better place.  While I agree that random acts of kindness can be a great thing, I wonder what would happen if our acts of kindness weren’t so . . . well  . . . random.

What if kindness were so much a part of us that we couldn’t help but be kind to everyone we came in contact with . . . strangers, neighbors, friends . . . even our spouse.

Especially our spouse.

1 Corinthians 13:4 reminds us that love is kind.  The fifth fruit of the spirit, kindness is a trait that is present in a healthy Christian’s life.  It should not be strange or newsworthy when a Christian shows kindness.  It is expected of us.  We can’t help but be kind.

Even to our spouse.

So why is it, then, that we are so often unkind to the one person whom we love more than anyone else?  Why is it so hard to show kindness to our spouse?

Maybe it’s because we haven’t made kindness a priority.

Life is hard.  Marriage is tough.  In the midst of busy schedules, difficult children, financial worries and daily trials, it is easy to overlook something so simple as an act of kindness . . .

but something so simple as an act of kindness can go a long way in keeping our marriages strong.

What would happen if we suddenly became intentional about kindness in our marriages?  What if we started to practice

Intentional Acts of Kindness

towards the person who is closest to us, in addition to random acts of kindness towards complete strangers?

Perhaps then the world really would be a better place.

Intentional kindness in marriageLet me give you a few suggestions of ways that you can be intentionally kind to your spouse this week:

1.  Get up before he does, scrape the windows and warm up his car for him.

2.  Match up his socks for him.

3.  Make him breakfast.

4.  Let him read the paper first (or use the computer first).

5.  Let him watch his favorite sports program without complaining . . . and without interrupting him or vying for his attention.

6.  Greet him with a smile and kiss when you see him again at the end of the day.

7.  Fill up his gas tank for him.

8.  Pick up his dirty clothes for him . . . without complaining.

9. Really, truly listen to what he tells you . . . without interrupting him to share your thoughts on the subject.

10.  Make him his favorite meal or take him out to his favorite restaurant . . . just because.

Do you have anything to add?  I’d love to hear your ideas of ways to show kindness to your spouse.  Share them in the comments below for all of us to see.

And now here’s this week’s Bible Study for married couples.



monday marriage momentMonday Marriage Moment, November 10, 2014

But the Fruit of the Spirit is:


1. Read Ephesians 4:32

2. What are some specific ways that your spouse has shown kindness towards you?

3. What are some specific ways that you have shown kindness towards your spouse?

4. When do you find it difficult to show kindness? Why do you think this is the case?

5. What are some very specific ways that God has shown kindness to both you and your spouse?


1. Read Romans 2:1-4 together.

2. What specific traits of God’s are mentioned in Romans 2:4?

3. How are these traits related to one another? How are they related to kindness?

3. God is kind, tolerant, and patient with us and we need to be the same way to one another. What are some specific ways that you can be express these traits in your marriage relationship?

4. Spend some time sharing with one another the areas where you feel you could improve in showing kindness to one another. Also spend time expressing the areas where you feel your spouse excels in kindness towards you.

5. Here is a song to remind you of God’s kindness:


1. You have heard of random acts of kindness towards strangers . . . well, I want to encourage you to participate in random acts of kindness towards one another. Clean off the windshield for your spouse, get up early and fix your spouse breakfast, write a kind note “just because”. Work hard to outdo one another with kindness and see what happens in your relationship as a result.

2. If you have kids, spend the week lavishing kindness on them.

3. Brainstorm together a way that you can show kindness to one of your neighbors or friends who could really use some extra kindness this week. For even more fun (and challenge) try to keep the act of kindness anonymous.

4. To show how our acts of kindness can impact others, watch the following video together:

2 thoughts on “Intentional Acts of Kindness in Marriage

Add yours

  1. I think it’s so easy to forget this kindness is something we yoneed to work on every day. Sometimes it’s easier to find kindness for strangers or acquaintances than it is for the ones we love. Definitely something to work on 🙂 Love this post, blessings to you!

  2. This is a beautiful post! When my husband and I renewed our vows on our 10th wedding anniversary (14 years ago) the minister’s sermon was about how you should be able to insert your own name into many of the verses in 1 Corinthians 13. Its’a great reminder to me even today “April is patient, April is kind….” Not that I am all the time of course, but it helps me to strive 🙂

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